I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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