Buhtt sex?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I FOUND THE LEGS
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
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