god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
