is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
