I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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