Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
