is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
