Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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