Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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