At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
