I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
