I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Life is so much better after having sex.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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