East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
