1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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