Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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