Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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