you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
