I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
