sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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