...so i touched it.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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