After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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