So drunk its hurt
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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