dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
