Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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