The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
