yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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