It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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