I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
