what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
