fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
My life is pants optional.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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