I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
