i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
