ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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