Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
