it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
