So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
