I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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