I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
