No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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