Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
