I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
