Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just found puke in my bra..
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
