I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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