dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
