haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
