We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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