everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
