come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
