My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
