also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
And then he peed in my hair
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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