he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
