i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
